Hollie Darrell Smith

The other night I was watching tv and said to myself that I was going to wake you up, then I realized you were not here. I know you are with god, but it doesn't make it easier to be without you. I sat here in the house wishing you were here.  When I go riding on the atv I wish you were with me.  I want to hear all the thing you had planned to do to the farm.  I love and miss you.  Hugs and kisses

I was remembering some ot the times we went fishing.  When we all went out on the boat and I had a cast on my left leg all the way up to my hip.  There was a fish that took Dale's rod and reel sailing right out of the boat.  Then the time we took Steven and kids over to Tug River and we teased him about what happened to that rooster. We always enjoyed going fishing and we had the most fun fishing.  I miss all the stuff we use to do.

I know you are not in pain any more and that God is taking care of you.

Dale, Emma, and I love and miss you. Hugs and Kisses.

I was talking to poppy and one of the nurses at work the other day, and she said that she was proud of me for still going to nursing school.  I thought she was going to cry.  I told her that you would want me to continue even with you gone.  I told her that if I thought that I couldn't do it or even thought of quitting you would tell me to pick myself up by my bootstraps and stay in school.  I have one more semester.  It starts January 12, and I am so nervous.  I miss you so much.  I feel like I say it alot, but it's true. Life just isn't the same.  I know you would tell me that life's not fair and to suck it up. I try to remember the fun times, but it's hard sometimes.  I love you and miss you terribly, Buffy Dear. 

I was next door at Brenda's fixing the turkey, giblet gravy and green beans remembering all the past holidays dinners we had made together.  I had gotten so angry, I almost toss the turkey, green beans, and gravy across the kitchen.  The family almost did not have Christmas dinner. I miss you so much. You should not be gone.  You should be with Dale, Emma, me and the rest of the family.  Dale and I was coming home today and I told him you were waiting on us here at the house, then I realized that you were gone.  I had my head turned looking out window crying and he ask me what was wrong I told him the sun was in my eyes.  I hate what those doctors did to you.  They always let you down when you needed medical care.  I love and miss you. xoxoxo

This is the time of the year where I should be giving to you, not for you to have been taken away from all of us. A time to  surprise my family with gifts or try to sneak one over on you.  Michelle, and I put up christmas decorations. They look really pretty all lit up.  Emma tried to help with the decorations but was so sick and so was Dale. Everytime old man's door would open, I expected to see you walk in and ask us if we were finished yet.  When the phone would ring I would think it was you calling wanting to know when we would be home.

I love and miss you

xoxoxo