Hollie Darrell Smith

It seems like yesterday that we were joking and laughing about everything.  I hate that you left us so early.  We should have had at least 50 more years with you.  Today at work they were talking politics.  Oh boy, was it hard to tolerate.  I tried to go to my happy place, but it just wasn't happening.  I started getting a headache.  Well, on my way home, I had to tolerate all the idiots that can't drive in snow.  I have to believe that Somerset drivers are the worst ever.  I think you should've given them driving lessons.  I miss you so bad.  I love you very much. 

 

 

I Love and Miss you  I made this video, with the pictures from the site...because I'm not to good with writing how I feel and wording what i want to say...but I didnt want anyone to think I forgot about you..because I would NEVER do that, It just sometimes, takes me longer to deal with some things...and even now, it's still unreal that what happened--really happened. I just wish everything was like before...Racing our Hummers almost over in the water..|Mine, totally was faster but your romote was strong, therefore--I win hehe| its hard to think of being able to go back home without seeing you there--throwing dog food at everyone walking up the road...it's just harder then I ever thought it would be saying bye. So..I promise to write on here again--I really do. Until then, I love and miss you--so much.

Just wanted to let you know that it is going to be so hard without you this (and all) holidays. I was driving home Sunday night and was thinking of Thanksgiving dinner and cried all the way home.  It will never be the same without pigging out with you.  Fighting over food and having a great time.  I have all the thoughts and feelings but dont know how to put them into words but I know you understand because you can feel my emotions.  Sometimes I forget that you are gone.  I think of something I want to tell you (like Aunt Mart walking around the hospital for hours with a commode seat cover hanging from her pants) or something I want to show you (like pictures of my yard) or something I want to ask you (like how to bust up my sidewalk so I can put a new one in) and then all of a sudden it hits me that you are gone.  I think sometimes that it is just a bad dream that I cant wake up from.  I get so mad because this is so unfair and so hard and I dont know how to deal with it at times or how to get through it.  Sometimes I try not to think about you because it hurts too much.  I'm afraid that people will think I dont care about you or dont miss you because I dont talk about you sometimes but you know that is not true.  It just hurts too bad and I dont want to cry in front of everyone.  I can cry when it is just you and me.  I also worry that Aunt Merry and Emma will think that I dont care very much because I dont write stuff on this site.  But then again, it is too hard sometimes.  Let them know that just because they dont see my feelings here that you feel my feelings.  Let them know that you and I talk everyday.  You help me work on yard, paint my house - and by the way, you got red paint on the floor  .  You are with me all the time so anytime I want to talk to you I can and do.  I get scared sometimes because Im afraid of who is going to leave me next.  My family is the most important thing to me and it scares me to not have you guys around.  I feel like Im out it space somewhere with nothing around me to protect me.  I get mad at you for leaving but I know it is not your fault.  I miss you very much and I'll always love you.  Someday we will all be together agian fighting over the last piece of jello pie.

The farm looks good.  I have been seeing all kinds of wildlife.  Deer, ducks, rabbits, squirrels, turkey, geese, muskrat, river otter, coyote and all the different kinds of birds.  In the little pond, we have the muskrat and in the big pond, the river otter.  Can't forget the fish in both ponds.  I wish you were here we could take pictures of all the wildlife on the farm 

I love and miss you

My Dear Brother, I am sitting here with pen in hand trying to write you this letter.  I haven't  been doing tto good since I got back from visiting Buffalo Woman.  I went for a weekend visit with Michelle and Miss Raymirez.  Miss Raymirez had 2 weeks vacation time built up.  She finally got her 25 years in.  I don't know how Michelle, the slave driver, get by with it.  She must have a politician in her back pocket.  My dear brother, I had to come back with this woman.  You would not believe the horror I had to endure.  I must tell you.  We had been on the road about 15 or 20 minutes when this woman's car started going crazy.  When she put on her brakes, her windshield wipers came on, her headlights and dash lights started flashing on and off, the car started spitting and spurting, then it just stopped.  Now, that woman looked over at me and started laughing.  She then told me to get out and push her car.  I kept telling her that I couldn't, I had bad knees and poor eye sight.  She looked at me and laughed again and told me to get out and push or walk home.  Now, you know what i done, I got out and pushed that crazy car for about 5 miles, until it started again.  Dear brother, every time we had to stop at one of those red, yellow, and green lights, that evil possessed car would stop.  The lights would start flashing on and off, windshield wipers going up and down.  Every time this would happen that woman would point her finger and start laughing, and tell me "get out and start pushing the car or walk home."  So I would get out and push because I knew my bad knees and poor eye sight, I could never make it walking home.  My dear brother, I can't sleep at night.  Every time I close my eyes, all I see is that woman's eyes looking at me and hear that laugh.  That pig snorting laugh and her pointing that finger telling me to get out and push, push, push the car or walk home.  I have smoked the mushrooms hoping to help me get over this horrable oreal.  It has not worked.  I have xome to the conclusion that the politicians this woman has in her back pocket have more power.  I will prevail dear brother.  I will find a way to overcome Michelle's politicians that she has in her pocket.  I have to go now my brother.  Must rest, I have a long hard battle with that woman and her car and those back pocket politicians.  I will survive.  I love and miss you so very much.  Keep Robert out of trouble.  I will write again soon.

 

Love your sister,

     Brenda